Pro tip: When using third-party templates, keep an eye on the variables they contain. Depending on the software you use, their format might differ. So if you use {Variable} instead of [Variable] or {Variable_1} vs {Variable1}, your sales engagement platform can fail to populate those fields causing some serious trouble.
7 email writing tips to perfect your templates
To make your day-to-day work as an SDR a bit more romantic, try viewing every email as your canvas and yourself as the artist. You can’t possibly create a masterpiece if you’re painting by numbers – simply filling in the blanks in the template.
Not feeling very creative? Here are some easy email writing tips to make every template better.
There might be many things you want to say to the prospect in your email, but not everything is worth being said. So, if you’re asking a person to give you a minute of their time, don’t waste a second of it on unnecessary fluff – get straight to the point.
That said, the first thing you should do to your templates is eliminate unnecessary text, especially at the beginning of your email. Phrases like “How are you?” or my personal favorite “Hope this email finds you well” add no value and are a waste of space in your sales email.
Let’s take a look at some examples:
❌ I’m reaching out to you because I noticed on your LinkedIn profile that you are working at {{Company}}. Given your role as {{Job_Title}}, my assumption is that {{Department}} processes fall in your wheelhouse.
✅ Given your role as {{Job_Title}} at {{Company}}, the {{Department}} processes should fall in your wheelhouse.
The second option here isn’t just half as long, it’s also much clearer – there’s no fluff and the reason for outreach is very straightforward. At the same time, the message is still almost identical. Magic ✨
Going a step further here, I dare to say that even an introduction might be unnecessary in a sales email. A prospect can already see your name and company info as the sender, even before they open the email. So don’t hesitate to cut it out too! Less is more 🙂
Most sales emails I’ve seen revolve around the sender. Starting every other sentence with I/we might feel natural (after all you have to explain who you are and what you’re offering). But it can be a major turn-off for most of your recipients. There’s no surprise here, it’s basic sales psychology.
Instead, try to avoid writing “selfish” emails and focus on the prospect and their challenges/needs/interests instead. In other words, rephrase your email to maintain a healthy I/you ratio.
Here’s a simple example.
❌ “I noticed the photos from your recent ski trip. I love skiing!”
✅ “Did you enjoy your recent trip? Your skiing skills are impressive!”
Both lines can be used as conversation starters, but guess which one is more likely to start an actual conversation (the one your prospect would really like to participate in)? If this example looks a bit exaggerated or irrelevant, here’s a more realistic one.
❌ “I’m writing to you because I noticed that you attended our [Event Name] event last week, and I was thinking that you are looking for software or tips that might help you with [Pain Point].”
✅ “Saw that you attended our [Event Name] event last week. Could this mean that you’re looking for software or tips that might help you with [Pain Point]?”
The two email extracts above convey the same message but notice how different they are and think which one would seem more appealing to the recipient.
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Use relevant social proof
Who wouldn’t want to show off big names like Google, Amazon, or Apple as their clients? But if you’re targeting startups or local businesses it wouldn’t matter to them. In fact, it could even scare away some of the potential clients, as they might think that you’re too expensive for them.
The key to effective social proof is to make it relatable. Here are some examples to put this into context:
❌ Since we’ve helped {{Company1}} and {{Company2}}, I felt you might be interested in [Pain Point].
✅ While we have already helped companies in {{Industry}}, such as {{Similar_Company1}} and {{Similar_Company2}}, I felt you might be interested in [Pain Point].
In the first case, you’re just listing two of your clients (probably the most prominent ones) while the second option specifies the prospect’s industry and mentions two similar companies in that space to make your offer more relevant and compelling to the recipient.
Another great way to make your cold emails more appealing is to use some numbers along with your social proof. For example, would you rather be interested in “drastically improving your team’s productivity” or “saving 7 hours a week” with a tool? See, the more specific the benefit you’re offering, the more appealing it sounds.
Of course, this doesn’t mean you should be making up those numbers. But making your value proposition a bit more tangible is always a good idea.
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Avoid jargon and buzzwords
One of my mantras as a content creator has always been: “Write as you speak.” While different channels or types of content might have their own preferred formats, none of them requires excessive use of jargon or buzzwords.
So-called “marketing speak” doesn’t just overcomplicate your emails but also makes them sound salesy. This is a common problem I see with value propositions sales teams use. In most cases, they would just copy and paste the product tagline used on the website or in other marketing materials.
And while there’s nothing wrong with keeping your positioning consistent across all of your communications, sales emails could really use a different approach.
Let’s look at the following examples.
- Leverage, utilize, employ ➡️ use
- Enhance, boost ➡️ improve/increase
- Accelerate ➡️ speed up
- Bolster ➡️ support
Using the words on the left might make you feel professional and “in the know” but they may only confuse or even irritate your prospects.
Email writing is no exact science, so the perfect cold email length remains a mystery. Based on our research, emails containing 54 words tend to offer the best results.
Yes, if we take a look at the length as the number of paragraphs in an email, the results are a bit less obvious. While emails containing 2-3 paragraphs tend to get up to a 58% higher reply rate and up to 66% more Interested responses, the ones with 7-10 paragraphs generate results that are close to (or even slightly above) the average in terms of reply and Interested rates.
This means it’s generally OK to write longer emails if needed – as long as you keep them well-structured and easy to read with shorter paragraphs.
So make sure to structure and format your emails for better readability, use lists, and highlight the key points in bold (just don’t write in all caps).