4
Your email should stand out
Most cold emails are generated automatically, or the content has been copied and pasted from other posts and with only the name of the recipient changed. We’ve all had emails like this, and we’ve all deleted them straight away.
For a start, make sure your email doesn’t stand out for the wrong reasons. Failed merge fields can destroy your campaign, but they’re easy to fix if you take the time to check your email. Similarly, if you have copied and pasted parts of your email, make sure it’s all formatted the same (having different parts of your message in different fonts is a dead giveaway).
On the other hand, your cold email will be better than 99% of the others if you can demonstrate you’ve put some effort into it. It’s highly important you include evidence so people can see they’re not just another entry in a database. For example, you could include a comment on professional performance at the conference, a recent corporate blog post, or company achievement, as illustrated in this cool email template.
Subject: Looking for the best Ruby engineer to join ABC Inc
Hi {{FirstName}},
My name is Jason and I am CEO at ABC Inc. I found your profile on GitHub while looking for the top engineers with Ruby experience. I was impressed by your background and decided to drop you a note.
You probably don’t often see CEOs reaching out to potential candidates to discuss career opportunities. But our company success so far is based on finding the best people and putting them together to work on fun, challenging, and exciting projects. That’s why I focus a lot of my personal time on recruiting the greatest talents for our company.
We might have a position to tell you about, but that conversation can’t begin until we listen to you first and make sure we are on the same page.
Please, let me know if you’re interested to learn more and I will connect you with someone from our team.
5
Personalize your message
As well as saving you time and resources by sending out your offer only to relevant people, carrying out research allows you to personalize your message. While some may suggest dropping in obscure and irrelevant details you’ve found out (‘I see you used to play the triangle in high school. Me too!’), in my experience this only makes you sound like a creepy stalker.
Instead, I recommend using relevant information that makes it clear you’ve actually done your homework and gone beyond the surface-level information. The following recruitment template does just that:
Hi {{FirstName}},
I’m Jason and I found your profile on LinkedIn while was looking for the best content marketers out there.
I saw that you’re currently at {{Company}}, but wanted to reach out in case you’re open to a new opportunity.
We are looking to hire a content marketing manager with a starting salary of {{Salary}} with equity options. We just closed our series B of funding {{Link to announcement}} and we’re looking to develop our content playbook as a channel for user acquisition. Our team would like to talk to you more and have you lead our content team to help us jump-start those efforts.
Would you like to learn more?
Or you might choose to go with an even more personal job opportunity email template:
Hi {{FirstName}},
I was browsing through the top Java developers in the Toronto area on LinkedIn and came across your profile. Checked your Github profile too — impressive work on {{Project}}.
You look like a perfect fit for our engineering team at {{Company}}, so I thought we should get in touch.
Do you have the time for a quick chat this week?
If you can’t resist bringing up some non-related stuff in your sourcing emails, make sure to make it relevant to your offer.
Hey {{FirstName}},
{{Your Name}} here from {{Company}}.
I noticed that you’re not just a {{Skill}} expert, but a huge football enthusiast too!
We have an all-star football team here at {{Company}} — and a few job openings in {{Department}} that would be a perfect fit for you 🙂
If that sounds like something you would like to consider, let’s set up a time to chat.
6
Use the power of visuals
Another way to make sure your staffing email template stands out is to include a visual — image, GIF, or video. This could be just a photo of your office or team (e.g. from the football practice mentioned in the template above), a funny picture or even a relatable meme, or whatever feels appropriate.
You can even add a dash of creativity and personalize the image. That would be a perfect combo to catch the recipient’s attention. No worries, you can still automate your outreach using Reply and Hyperise integration 😉
If you have some time on your hands, go ahead and record a short video using tools like Vidyard or Loom. This could be especially handy when trying to reach top-tier candidates, the C-suite execs, or simply outstanding specialists. I am pretty sure that most of them would notice and appreciate your effort and at least take a second to drop you a line in response!
7
Check your tone of voice
When it comes to recruiting emails, most people write with all the personality of cardboard. Even the most outgoing recruiters seem to suddenly have a personality transplant the second they sit down to write an email. When we’re communicating though, it’s not just what we say but how we say it that makes a difference. The tone of voice you use in your email may be the deciding factor on whether or not you get a response.
For instance, even the tone of your opening can have a big effect.
There’s a world of difference between “Dear Mr. Stark,” and “Hey Tony.” A long-established traditional company looking for professional Gen X candidates will benefit from the first greeting. On the other hand, a disruptive start-up looking for millennials or Gen Z candidates would probably go for the latter.
Either way, this is about more than just the greeting you use. Your entire email should reflect your brand if you want to attract the right kind of candidate.
8
Don’t explain what the company does
People’s time is precious, and explaining the basics is just a waste of that time.
If the candidate is familiar with the company, they already know what you do.
If they are hearing about the company/project for the first time, giving a detailed explanation of your history would simply turn your email into a bloated copy of what everyone else is sending, most likely destined for the trash.
Either way, filling your email with a detailed company history and profile is only going to hurt your reply rates.
If you’re not sure whether the candidate knows your brand, simply include several words about what your company deals with or just indicate the area of industry. That will be completely enough.
Subject: Love your {{Project Name}} project on GitHub
Hey {{FirstName}},
I’m an engineer at {{Company}}. I came across your GitHub profile and really liked your {{Project name}} project. I wanted to see if you’d be interested in working with us at {{Company}} — if you’re up for it, I’d love to grab a virtual coffee next week to chat.
Best regards,
If you’re sure that your company name won’t ring a bell, you could go with something more informative. This would be especially appropriate when reaching out to technical specialists regarding the job at an innovative startup or company with an advanced tech stack.
Hi {{FirstName}},
I lead talent acquisition at {{Company}}. Our team is looking for a passionate {{Role}} with expertise in {{Technology or Skill}}. After coming across your LinkedIn profile, I believe you would be a great fit.
We’re building {{Product Specifics/Stack}}. Does that sound like something you would be interested to learn more about?
I look forward to hearing from you!
9
Be Brief
I get it. You’re sending your email and you want to make sure they know absolutely everything they might need to make their decision. So you start off with your company info (see tip #8 to remind yourself why this is a bad idea), the job description, the start date, all the benefits, and your pet policy.
Remember your objective is to get them to make contact, not sign a contract. That means keeping your message to the minimum needed to get your point across. If someone opens your email and they see an essay, then your email will be saved for later (AKA never seen ever again).
Sure, drop a link in with further details the candidate can check out if they choose to, but don’t overwhelm them.
Hi {{First Name}},
I wanted to get in touch to find out if you are keeping half an eye open for a new job?
I’m looking for developers urgently for a client of ours in the {{Location}} area and wondered if this may be of interest to you…Let me know
Kind regards
That’s a grand total of 52 words, which gives the prospective candidate exactly enough information to take the next step and get in touch if they’re interested. Also notice how the email fits in a small amount of personalization, acknowledging the candidate is already in a job and asking if they’re interested in a new one. As a rule, aim for a message of between 50 and 125 words for the optimal response rate.
10
Keep it simple and clear
If you want your recruitment emails to get results, it’s important they’re clear and understandable.
Of course, you wouldn’t set out to write an incomprehensible email. However, people often unintentionally write emails that are difficult to understand. This might be because they’re including jargon or leaving out important details.
One reason is the curse of knowledge. When you’re in the middle of an industry or you’ve worked with a particular organization for years, it’s easy to take for granted certain terms and phrases that you’re familiar with. Most jobs come with their own particular vocabulary, but they’re a different language to anyone else.
While certain industry-specific terms may be appropriate in a recruitment email (e.g. talking about the need for double-entry book-keeping to a potential accountant recruit or object-oriented programming to a coder), look out for jargon terms or buzzwords. Even if the candidate can understand you, 60% of candidates find jargon annoying. Telling them you’re looking for a growth-hacking ninja could get your email deleted.
The second problem comes from writing to impress, rather than inform.
It’s easy for recruiters to try and show off how clever they are with their expanded vocabulary. Unfortunately, this doesn’t work so well when you’re trying to establish a connection with a potential recruit.
Instead, keep things simple and clear in your cold recruiting email template. Studies have found emails written to a 3rd-grade reading level are more likely to get a response.
Hi {{First Name}},
{{Your Name}} from {{Company}} here!
We are looking to add a {{Role}} to our team in {{Location}}. I noticed that you have a background in {{Industry/Role}}, I believe you could be a great fit.
Would love to tell you more about what we’re offering.
Are you up for a quick chat this week?
11
Remember: WIIFM?
One of the important rules of cold email copywriting is to put yourself in your prospect’s shoes. If you’re trying to sell something, ask why your prospective customers should care. When you’re writing a recruitment email, you’re effectively trying to “sell” them on a job opening, so ask yourself why your potential recruit should care.
What are you offering that they care about?
In effect, your candidate has only one question on their mind while they read your email: ‘What’s in it for me?’ You might be proud of the latest award your company received, but does that actually mean anything to a candidate?
To make sure the whole email is relevant to your prospective candidate, imagine them asking “so what?” at the end of every sentence you’ve written. If the benefit to them isn’t self-explanatory, make it clear why they should care. If there is no benefit, then cut the sentence altogether.
So what does matter to your potential recruits? Younger candidates are more likely to care about company values and how they fit in with their world-view, while more millennials are looking for fulfillment. Yet, salary is still the most important criterion for many.
Bonus tip: What’s your unique value proposition for candidates? Most companies focus on what unique value they offer to customers. Why should someone buy from them and not their competitors? As someone responsible for recruiting, it’s your job to establish your unique value to candidates. Why should they work for you rather than your competitors? If you’re promising the same old benefits all your competitors are offering, you’re not giving them any reason to pick you.
Hey {{First Name}},
We’re hiring {{Role}} here at {{Company}} and there are at least 3 reasons why I think you might be interested in this offer:
– {{Reason 1, e.g. telecommuting/remote work}}
– {{Reason 2, e.g. being able to build your own team from scratch}}
– {{Reason 3, e.g. childcare benefits}}
I’d love to tell you a little more about the role — can we chat tomorrow?
12
Your main goal is to schedule a call/meeting
Any verbal communication is still considered to be much more effective than even the most informative correspondence. In the case of hiring a prospective candidate, the situation is the same.
If you’re hoping your prospective candidate is going to read your message and immediately sign up to be on your team, I’ve got bad news for you. People generally don’t make that kind of decision off the back of one single email. Instead, the goal of the message should be getting the recipient to agree to meet up or jump on a call. Here’s a recruiting email template you can use in this case.
Subject: New career opportunity
Hi {{FirstName}},
I know a little bit about your background and had some ideas in mind. However, I work differently, and if you are open to chatting I’d like to begin with a dialogue instead of a pitch selling you a job. We might have a position to tell you about, but that conversation can’t begin until we listen to you first and make sure we are on the same page.
I realize that my email may or may not have arrived at the right time. However, my goal is to connect with and understand an outstanding individual’s professional frustrations/aspirations and then align those needs with the startup that can best fit or help achieve that person’s goals.
What’s the best way for us to connect?
There’s a lot this email template for recruiters does right, but the subtle personalization is what we’re focusing on. The email starts by explaining why you’re emailing, and how you found out about them. Saying you found their profile on LinkedIn shows a perfect balance of professional interest. They’re not just another name on a list you bought off a dodgy dealer, and you’re also not stalking their Facebook feed to see what they had for breakfast last January.
The employment email template also demonstrates that research by showing you’re aware of their employment status and have acknowledged it.
Show your recipients you’ve made an effort and you’ll stand a better chance of getting their attention. Just because you’re sending a cold email, it doesn’t mean the content has to be cold.